Some thoughts on my mind

I am pretty good at hiding my emotions, especially sheer disappointment, dispair and/or anger.

And I might be all three right now, but I can’t let that ruin my upcoming trip on Saturday. I am really pissed because I had planned a full month in advance to meet some people I’ve never met in person. And now I might not be seeing them at all. Even though that was the sole reason I was taking this stupid trip in the first place.

I’ve already firmly decided if I don’t end up seeing either of these people in person between Saturday and Monday, I’m never planning a trip by myself anywhere ever again unless I have some kind of confirmation I won’t be let down OR have already met them. Ugh, why am I soooo bliiiind? I’ve been stewing ever since last Saturday about this.

I’m really pissed, not only because I spent so much money for plane tickets and a room, but because I’ve never in 24 years had to plan my own travel out of state alone or worry about an itinerary and accomodations. Now I’m gonna have to figure out how to make the most of this trip without getting abducted or something. I swear, I should’ve listened to my intuition. I clearly heard it telling me not to do this and yet, I didn’t listen. It’s currently T-minus-1 day until I get on that flight and I still have zero updates on the other end.

So yes, it’s dumb bitch o’clock and I’m gonna have to figure out how to make LA worth my stay, I guess. I already feel like I’m gonna be stressed the whole time. I wonder when I’ll learn to listen to my intuition and stop chasing dreams and ideas?

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