If you’ve seen the memes on social media of a short, stout, mayonnaise-y man and a very facially expressive Asian woman, you might have a basic familiarity with this show.
90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days is one of the many spinoffs of 90 Day Fiancé, a TLC reality show following the relationships of several couples going through or starting the K-1 visa process.
This has been, by far, the most excruciating season of Before the 90 Days to sit through. Most of it feels so fake and forced and some of the phrases are obviously scripted and reminiscent of prior gold phrases. That’s not even half of what there is to unpack.
Example: “For me, she is 70% good of what I expected.”~Usman.
That’s quite similar to Azan, from a season of 90 Day Fiance, saying he was attracted to Nicole “but just like 55%”! It’s just disappointing to spot such similarities. Maybe it wasn’t intentional, and maybe I’m right.
There are 8 couples. Let’s go from most to least talked about.
- Ed and Rose
Ed and Rose are the typical age gap couple seen on 90 Day Fiance shows—a 54-year-old and a 23-year-old.
Big Ed, as he likes to refer to himself, is a photographer in San Diego, California. He is known for his lack of a neck, which is a result of some congenital condition. He meets Rose, a woman younger than his own daughter, on Facebook, and decides to fly out to meet her in the Philippines under the guise of love.
It’s honestly a wonder how she puts up with this dude. I mean, he is the most entitled, disgusting, victim playing guy I’ve ever seen, or at least top 5, on the show.
Sure, she has her flaws too, and they’re both using each other, but he is by far the worst in the relationship. He insults her right off the bat and belittles her at every turn. He doesn’t care about her as a person, but as an object for sexual gratification and arm candy.
Rose is a super poor single mother with a young son. So of course she’s using Ed for money and to make a better life for herself. But Ed isn’t a dude who likes to splurge.
He asks her to take an STD test but won’t take one himself, which she refuses, he harasses her for a kiss, asks her to shave cause “leg hair is gross,” insults her oral hygiene by giving her a toothbrush and mouthwash, insults her living conditions, and basically ignores her son. There’s more, but those are the biggest offenses!
Roses expressions are what make their segments worth it. She never hides her disgust or disbelief in Ed’s behavior and it is meme gold. Like, I feel that because I have trouble hiding my expressions too.
Will the two last? I don’t think so.
- Usman and Lisa
You like raw dogging? Well look no further than Nigerian “pop star” Usman “Sojaboy” and Lisa “Baby girl Lisa”! Sigh…
It couldn’t be more obvious that Usman wants a green card by the way he mocks Lisa to his friends and always emphasizes that she is a white woman from America.
Both parties are unlikeable in my open, but especially Lisa. She’s unite entitled and expects Usman to submit to all her demands without giving him the same in return. She also gives no effort to respect his culture nor country.
As for Usman, he comes off as a pushover for most of the season. Not to mention, he’s not a very talented singer. He’s shady in how he treats Lisa compared to how he discusses her to others.
- Darcey and Tom
Snnooorre! Ugh, these two are so boring. Tom, a Collin Firth wannabe and Englishman, is back to torment Darcey with petty insults.
Darcey shockingly stops putting up with his foolishness and kicks him to the curb. Honestly, they were already broken up at the end of the last season of 90 Day Fiance.
So whyyyy do they keep showing them and their mundane separate lives post breakup? Tom with his Canadian Lana look-alike and Darcey with her teen daughters and Stacey.
So boring, I’m over it.
- Erika and Stephanie
As the first lesbian couple featured on the series, I was optimistic they’d be a fun, loving couple. Boy was I wrong.
Rainbow Brite Erika and YouTube bore Stephanie don’t have a lot in common. Stephanie has often been described by some fans as a “fun vampire” because she just sucks.
Stephanie’s whole personality is basically “I have an illness.” It’s all she ever talks about and part of every introduction she makes, basically.
She loves playing the victim and turns Erika’s pain into a “what about me” and “oh my god, how dare you!” It’s as if she’s not even interested in being in a relationship with Erika, especially how she refuses to confess to her mother that she’s bi even though Erika confessed to her own parents with her present.
Erika plans some enviably fun dates, yet Stephanie finds something to complain about every time. But Erika’s not completely faultless because she looks miserable most of the time she’s with her. Each time she has an opportunity to send her off, she comes right back. Plus, she’s made it clear she’s a sexual person and expected it early in the relationship.
Stephanie has a completely different online personality than what she displays in person, though, so it’s almost like she persona catfishes Erika and Erika just keeps accepting that.
- Ash and Avery
Yeah Avery, we know Ash is a “relationship coach.” Avery is a single mother with a few kids and leaves them to travel to Australia to meet her online boyfriend, Ash.
Avery just ignores all the red flags, like his ramblings in his relationship advice posts and videos and having broken up 3 times prior before ever meeting in person.
The whole relationship and both of them are red flags, to be honest, but they’re one of the normal couples this season.
Here’s a video of Ash humiliating himself at a “seminar” that he clearly did not prepare for: Ash’s singles’ seminar
- David and Lana
David is one of the most delusional cast on this season. He might as well just get a mail-order bride or get a doll at this point. 7 years and $100k is a lot to spend on a fantasy. This is catfish scenario 1.
He, a 60-year-old man from Las Vegas thinks he’s talking to a hot 27-year-old from Ukraine, yet he is not allowed to get a number or contact her on other messaging apps outside the “dating site” they use. So that’s not dating for 7 years, in my opinion, especially since he’s paying PER MESSAGE.
In the mean time, his dreams of marrying Lana and bringing her to the U.S., living in his RV with his cats and his unicycle, and going on bowling dates is totally reasonable. Right?
Lana is probably some middle-aged man in Ukraine playing the long-con like an expert. Lana’s not real…or is she?
- Geoffrey and Varya
TLC really just puts anybody on this show. I don’t have much to say about these two other than I like Varya. For the most part. She seems sweet, fun, and optimistic.
Geoffrey gets on my nerves. He has nipple tattoos!! But that’s not the only reason, he’s a manipulative gaslighter and abuser. From the start, he was trying to blame his awkwardness on her despite all her attempts to break the ice with him.
Also, if a man you’re just meeting who you’ve only talked to online for 3 months previously has to convince you to spend the night with him instead of your friends on the first or second night, you shouldn’t feel pressured to do so. That goes for most of these couples.
I ignored most of their scenes, but I got the gist they were working through road block after road block until he proposed after a day at the sauna.
- Yolanda and Williams
Catfish scenario 2: Yolanda and The Williams. How can you take anyone seriously who acts like The Williams is their FIRST NAME?
I think Yolanda, much like Caesar from the previous season of BT90D, is doing a disservice to representation of the black community. No way she can be this, for lack of better words, dim.
You’re talking to this “handsome muscle hunk man standing in city park” series of stock photos who claims to be British…but has a Nigerian accent? And he doesn’t know what airport to send you to meet with him in England?
Her whole story takes place in her hometown. No travel scenes or video evidence of The Williams, his Instagram was completely deleted, she’s been receiving threats from mysterious sources. Still, she ignores any logic or reasoning from her daughter.
In a nut shell, her story consists of shots of texts, images of Instagram profiles, the stock photo of The Williams, and sitting in a cafe or at home with her daughter talking about him.
It’s frustrating to watch. Her scenes could all be fit into 2 episodes and be over with because it’s just the same thing over and over again framed in different ways.
In summary, this season feels so long. I just wish it would end already because there’s no balance in likability and utter disgust. The scales tip heavily toward the latter, but I’ll keep watching, though. I’ve invested too much time to turn back now.