Getting to Know Me

We can skip the wine and dine. Go straight for the wind and grind.

-6lack, Imported

“Hi, how are you?”

“I’m good. Just tryna let you ride my face.”

I get it. This is dating in the modern age, and love is dead. Romance is dead. Bonding over common interests with someone before meeting and establishing trust is dead. Getting to know me is dead. If you’re trying to find meaningful connections, let alone friendships, in online dating, you’re bound to come across these interactions. More often than not, unfortunately.

And I’m no idiot, no stranger to this of course, but I’ve found meaningful conversation with strangers on these dating apps before, and I’m looking for it again. But now, it’s worse than ever, and I long for the times of going out and meeting people.

In real life. The homegrown, natural, range-free organic way.

Maybe this quarantine has gotten to me worse than I thought, but I’m feeling kinda lonely and just want to talk to someone who won’t annoy the hell out of me or bore me to know end as I try to bring life into the conversation that is promptly killed with dry-ass responses.

I’m looking for the fun, cute things. The lore of the internet on my Twitter feed of people ACTUALLY utilizing this time of social distancing and isolation to…you know…Get. To. Know. Each other. Like decent human beings, man and woman. With each other! Using FaceTime and other video apps, iMessage games, texting without asking for nudes or head or to come over. Interacting with each other on social media.

It’s crazy I can’t find the same. Makes me want to isolate myself even more. Giving some random dude my number or social media, only to be inevitably disgusted and disappointed. They don’t want to get to know me, they want me to risk my health and safety to see them and BS.

Well if they’d gotten to know me first, they’d know I ain’t with the BS. I’m trying to have healthy and safe fun. From the comfort of my home. Also, I’m not an on-call sex toy merely existing for random men’s pleasure. What happened to dates and fun ideas and hanging out??

I’m currently on 3 dating apps, one of which I just redownloaded. And they (the apps) just seem to get worse. It’s not even that I’m desperate or even looking for a relationship, I just don’t know how to deal with this time aside from constant class assignments. I want to get to know somebody and vice versa.

But nobody really wants to get to know me. I am somebody. I have a personality. And dreams, and interests. And talents. And most most importantly, I have feelings, too. But no one cares to know that. It’s just been bothering me lately, especially seeing how common this is for a lot of women.

Rant over.

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